We all gather 'round the Christmas tree
My ma, my pa, little brother and me
Huddled in a corner, cheek to cheek
Closer than ever since they shut off our heat
We've no other family, never had any friends
We’re slightly unsocial and that's where it ends
No phone calls, no fruit cake, no holiday cheer
Just us and that pine tree, year after year
Our dog sat among us, but he'd thrown us a loop
He stunk like the dickens, must've rolled in some poop
I teetered and tottered, that stench had me drugged
Brother just giggled, for his nose had been plugged
The fireplace crackled as pa started to snore
When all of a sudden, there was a knock at the door
I jumped up to answer, saw before me St. Nick
Forgetting to warn him, the porch may be slick
It no longer mattered if I'd been naughty or nice
As Santa fell over and cracked his head on the ice
"Do it again!", brother shouted with glee
Not quite understanding how still Santa be
We dragged him inside, laid him out on a bed
Considered a doctor, took his wallet instead
There were tens and twenties, and plastic galore
Which we divided among us as a Yuletide encore
Now we all gather 'round that same 'ol pine tree
My parents, my brother, gagged Santa, and me
It just goes to show you can never say never
That turned out to be our best Christmas ever!
